Log 029

Log 029

-Author: Rinas Rylos

-Rank: C.E.O.

-Corporation: Rinas' Raiders (R.R.A.S.)

-Date: 115.06.17

 

More money, more problems. I don't remember where I read that, but I think that whoever originally said it neglected to mention that it's only a problem if you go around boasting about it like an idiot. People who somehow manage to accrue way more cash than they should for such little brainpower, and then wind up losing it because they don't have the capacity to keep their fucking mouths shut and a close eye on their wallets. I think the term is "Rich in dollars but poor in common sense", or something like that. Read that somewhere too, and it seems like it tends to apply a lot to those flying space bastards, or "capsuleers". Despite one of their unwritten rules being "don't fly what you can't afford to replace" it seems as though there are waaaaaay too many people who don't seem to listen to it. Conversely, I've watched poor little greenhorn mercs thinking that top-tier gear makes them the fucking end all on a battlefield, and subsequently get their asses beaten in seven ways to Sunday, their gear lost with each and every clone they stupidly throw themselves back into. It's almost, almost, hard to watch, unless they're on the opposing team, in which case it's fucking hilarious. 

Speaking of newbies, I wound up talking to the Doc's newest patient today. It was supposed to be a three-way video call between us, but apparently she was just sticking to audio for today. Not that it made much of a difference to me, but I could tell that Doc was worried; Even at my worst I at least opened up a visual feed, though in the beginning the most expressive I got was "stare dumbly at ground and answer questions with a single word". I asked what I should call her, and got the name Chime, of all things. My Intaki is a little (read: insanely) rusty, but if I'd remembered correctly than that was their word for immortal. Left me wondering if it was her code name or just the only one she could remember.

Anyway, for the most part I pretty much just let the doctor do his thing; I'm certainly not qualified to speak up about this crap, I mean, for all I know her freakouts could be caused by something completely different from mine. Most of her replies were just one-word answers, even to the questions that required something more complex, and I couldn't help but marvel at Doc's patience through all of this. Halfway through I had been about ready to call the whole thing off and write her off as a lost cause, but he never lost his cool, and kept trying to get her to respond. Honestly, the whole thing felt awkward and annoying, and with each passing moment my respect for the Doctor grew simply because he didn't snap by the end of it. That said, I did manage to glean a few things about her, namely that she was an only child, hated propaganda broadcasts (and who doesn't? Besides the extremists and the idiots), didn't have any hobbies, and hadn't slept in three days. That last one threw me for a loop, given that if I don't get a solid eight hours I'm damn well not likely to be up and about the day afterwards, but I guess she hadn't exactly been working with a full deck since her own incident anyway, so I can't really fault her for that.

After what felt like fucking forever, Doc told her the schedule for her next appointment before hanging up and asking my opinion. I'm not sure if he was expecting me to that she felt like she was some sort of sister-in-arms, or some bullshit like that, or if I thought she was just a goddamned lunatic. I told him she seemed like neither; That the dull apathy in her voice combined with her complete lack of anything resembling a stake in the conversation made it sound like she'd just given up on living. He concurred before adding that it the whole thing was likely a result of her mind trying to deny whatever she'd done and had wound up blocking off most of her capacity for emotion as well. I asked if that meant making her sound less robotic and more human might also trigger a relapse or some PTSD, and he admitted it'd be a very decent possibility, but claimed it would be better for her in the long run. I'm...I'm not sure I can agree with that, honestly, but he's the psychiatrist here, not me. We chatted about a few other things afterwards, but in the back of my head I couldn't stop thinking about Chime and the comparison between her and myself. I mean, yeah, I'll grant that I used to be pretty fucked up, but compared to her? I dunno, maybe I'm too biased to make a reasonable guess, but I at least like to think I wasn't that bad.

-End Log.