-Author: Rinas Rylos
-Rank: C.E.O.
-Corporation: Rinas' Raiders (R.R.A.S.)
-Date: 115.06.20
Sorry about the sentimental crap the other day, Diary. I don't usually get so sappy and emotional about, y'know, the whole murdering other people for money deal, but once in a while I can't help but ponder it for a while, and then shit like that happens. It's hard to keep a balance between being a fucking murderous robot and some hippy lovesick bullshit idiot sometimes, y'know? Fighting is inevitable, but there's a time and a place for it, and if you don't have to than you probably shouldn't. Speaking of which...
Chime: Round 2 happened today. Apparently Doc had sent her an email to try and do what I did, i.e., the whole diary exercise, but it didn't...uh..work out quite as well. Typing out "Fuck You" about five hundred times, while showing tenacity and determination, probably isn't quite what he had in mind with her. At least it showed SOME emotion though, because she sure as shit didn't this time around either. One-word responses, no fucking participation beyond those, and this sullen tone in the few replies she actually gave us...ergh. It was like squeezing water out of a stone, or however the hell the saying goes; I've fired fucking SMG rounds that had more of an effect on a proto-heavy than the Doc's questioning did on her.
At any rate, it was essentially the second verse of the same song from the other day; Chime put fuck all effort in and logged off without saying a word more than she needed to, and Doc asked me for my opinion again. Nothing I could think of was really all that different from the first time we had gone through all of this, so I told him that. He agreed before letting out a large sigh, and I asked him if he'd ever dealt with someone this bad before. That changed his tone completely; He let out a laugh before saying that even a single word reply is still more than some of his old patients used to give him, and it would sometimes takes weeks to get them up to even that. Still, he said, that doesn't make it any easier knowing what kind of things might be going on in her head to make her this way. Given my own demons, I couldn't help but agree.
I was still a little surprised when he asked me about how I was doing, given how much attention we'd paid to Chime. I told him that the nightmares weren't quite as frequent (which isn't a lie per se) and that I didn't get as anxious in large crowds of people as I used to. He said my mandatory sessions would be up next month, but asked if I could still keep coming afterwards just in case. I wasn't sure what else to say, so I agreed. It's not like I mind talking to him anymore, y'know? But it's still....every session is a reminder of how badly I lost it, and I think by this point having it brought to the forefront of my mind so often is doing more harm than good by this point. Not that I know that for sure, but it damn feels like it, anyway.
Bleh. Brains are complicated.
-End Log
Sorry about the sentimental crap the other day, Diary. I don't usually get so sappy and emotional about, y'know, the whole murdering other people for money deal, but once in a while I can't help but ponder it for a while, and then shit like that happens. It's hard to keep a balance between being a fucking murderous robot and some hippy lovesick bullshit idiot sometimes, y'know? Fighting is inevitable, but there's a time and a place for it, and if you don't have to than you probably shouldn't. Speaking of which...
Chime: Round 2 happened today. Apparently Doc had sent her an email to try and do what I did, i.e., the whole diary exercise, but it didn't...uh..work out quite as well. Typing out "Fuck You" about five hundred times, while showing tenacity and determination, probably isn't quite what he had in mind with her. At least it showed SOME emotion though, because she sure as shit didn't this time around either. One-word responses, no fucking participation beyond those, and this sullen tone in the few replies she actually gave us...ergh. It was like squeezing water out of a stone, or however the hell the saying goes; I've fired fucking SMG rounds that had more of an effect on a proto-heavy than the Doc's questioning did on her.
At any rate, it was essentially the second verse of the same song from the other day; Chime put fuck all effort in and logged off without saying a word more than she needed to, and Doc asked me for my opinion again. Nothing I could think of was really all that different from the first time we had gone through all of this, so I told him that. He agreed before letting out a large sigh, and I asked him if he'd ever dealt with someone this bad before. That changed his tone completely; He let out a laugh before saying that even a single word reply is still more than some of his old patients used to give him, and it would sometimes takes weeks to get them up to even that. Still, he said, that doesn't make it any easier knowing what kind of things might be going on in her head to make her this way. Given my own demons, I couldn't help but agree.
I was still a little surprised when he asked me about how I was doing, given how much attention we'd paid to Chime. I told him that the nightmares weren't quite as frequent (which isn't a lie per se) and that I didn't get as anxious in large crowds of people as I used to. He said my mandatory sessions would be up next month, but asked if I could still keep coming afterwards just in case. I wasn't sure what else to say, so I agreed. It's not like I mind talking to him anymore, y'know? But it's still....every session is a reminder of how badly I lost it, and I think by this point having it brought to the forefront of my mind so often is doing more harm than good by this point. Not that I know that for sure, but it damn feels like it, anyway.
Bleh. Brains are complicated.
-End Log
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